El Completo.

There was a point in my life where I had this idea that I would never be able to truly dedicate myself to another person— to give someone my all, my complete being, my heart, mind, and soul. I thought that I would never be able to even give a slight piece. I could never surrender such things to another person. Surrender the things that could easily tear you apart to someone else? Human beings are known to come and go. And anyone can go at any moment— when you least expect it. That is why I laugh at the idea of making someone my “entire world.” I see people do it all the time. But it doesn’t mean that it always works out. I could not imagine the emptiness that would consume me if I made someone my entire world, and then they went gone. But then again, maybe I’m too used to the emptiness that has already consumed me. No one wants to feel the same pain twice. But it wasn’t painful. It isn’t painful. Emptiness comes quietly. The next thing you know, it feels like it was with you the entire time. Some of you may think that feeling empty or lonely is such a terrible, terrible thing. To many people, of course. But not everyone knows how to deal with such emotions. We are weak. But not all of us are. I honestly don’t think this world wasn’t made to nourish beautiful relationships all over. It’s every man for himself. And not everyone comes out a winner. I’ve accepted who I am, what I feel, how I think, etc. I may not be able to truly dedicate myself to another person, but I have dedicated myself to many other things. Things that help fill in the void in a beautiful way. Things that will allow me to experience a happiness of my own. Dreams. Dreams are quite lovely. To some, love is like a fuel. It keeps them going. To me, dreams replace love. I highly stress the fact of learning to be alone because it is the most beautiful and smartest thing that you can do. I have severely detached myself from reality to the point where it feels like I now live in a dream world. It sounds a bit silly. But I’m surrounded by this aura, this fuel, this other type of “love.” And that is how I make it by. Not everyone functions the same way. Not everyone thinks the same way. Not everyone finds a lover, gets married, has a family, and lives happily ever after. I’ve thrown that image out of my head a long time ago. I don’t expect such things. I just simply go with the flow. I don’t go out of my way to look for relationships, because doing that will only lead to disappointment. If someone comes along, and things work out— beautiful. If someone comes along, and it doesn’t work out— that’s fine. I have other things to do. I have dreams to achieve. My sole purpose in life isn’t to find someone else to be with. It is to be happy. And who says that being with someone else is the only source of happiness? You should know very well that happiness, beauty, and love comes in all different ways.